Don’t be alone in paradise

You need someone to give life meaning.

We were not created to live by ourselves. We need love in our lives. You can have everything life can offer, and feel lonely and empty inside because you do life by yourself.

You need a friend with whom you can be your true self or a spouse. Your spouse can be your best friend.

You need someone committed to you for life. Someone with whom you can feel secured. Secured to be vulnerable, and be your true self.

It’s the commitment that makes all the difference.

It’s easy to leave any kind of relationships at the first difficulty. Nowadays, people have transactional relationships. What can I get from you?

They don’t want to feel like they are getting less that what they have invested. They will give less because they are getting less.

You know even if you are with the right person, you will feel one day that you are getting less.

You know why? Simply, because life has seasons. We go through different seasons in our lives. Also, we change. No, you are not the same person that you were 5 or 10 years ago.

We can be together and change at the same time, but in a different way. We both need to adjust because we are not the same person, and we don’t have the same needs. We both need to articulate our new identities and our needs. It takes time. We both have to be patient with each other.

You both can feel that you are not on the same page anymore, but it’s a feeling that won’t last long. Stay in the boat! Be patient, listen to each other, and things will improve.

Love is a commitment. I will love you through different seasons in your life. I will love you when I feel like it and when I don’t feel like it. I will love you when I don’t want to see you, or when I cannot stand you for whatever reason.

We are human beings, and our emotions change a lot. You cannot be led by your emotions. You have to overcome your emotions. Choose to go above your emotions, and decide that no matter what you feel today you will love that person.

Friends loves at all times and especially during adversities. We all need a friend to go through adversities. Someone you can count on. Someone to take your hand while you are crying. Someone who speaks the same language than you, the language of your heart. Someone who can understand you. You feel seen, heard, and understood.

When they see you, they can see through you. They know if you feel good or bad just by looking at you, or hearing your voice.

Love is sacrificial. We make sacrifices for the people that we love. We move forward in life together. We sacrifice for each other because we love each other. We want the best for each other.

You don’t want to be surrounded by people who are there because of your prosperity, status, or influence. A friend is like a sister or a brother. We are transparent and we encourage each other. We celebrate together and we cry together. We feel safe with each other. We are pouring in each other cup. We have compassion for each other.

Do you think it’s too good to be true?

It’s possible. I have friends like that. My tribe. It did not happen overnight.

Relationship is built with time. Like a good wine, it becomes better with time. We learn about each other through different seasons in our lives.

The friendships I have today are like gold and rubies. They are precious to me. I am always happy to be with each one of them. I am full of joy, and I enjoy each second with them, cause they are precious to me.

I am blessed because I don’t have to do life by myself. I can be who I am with them. They know me, and understand the language of my heart. I am not alone in paradise.

No matter where we are in the world, I know we stand side by side. We are holding hands and comforting each other. Isn’t that beautiful? I did not have that when I was younger.

Everything gets better with time.

You know your spouse can be your best friend. You need to feel safe and secured with them, to be your true self. Safe to be vulnerable. Safe to share the deepest things, your real story, your trauma, your wounds, and what matters the most to you. Be whole to be one.

If you only share the surface and always try to impress each other, you will never get there.

You should feel safe in your marriage to be fully naked in front of your spouse. When I say naked, I mean emotionally, physically, and spiritually naked. He or she has your back. They are committed to you, and they will support you through different seasons of your life. They will be there for you through adversities and changes.

It’s what we all need. A commitment. A promise to love us till the end.

Stay with me in paradise, but also stay with me in hell. Darkness does not last long, but most people jump out of the boat too soon. The grass always look greener on the other side of the fence. Are you going to jump out of the boat every time things get difficult? Do you think life is a quiet river?

Non, non, non… Life is ups and downs. Things always change. You cannot predict what will happen tomorrow. That’s why you need to be committed to someone to experience love in another lever. This deep connection.

No matter what… choose to be there for your loved ones. Love them, hold their hands, cry with them, comfort them, be compassionate, and be patient.

Things will get better….

Avec tout mon amour,

Jessy