Love cannot be brought by money

Is this title cliché ? I wonder mmmmhhh….

Happiness cannot be brought by money, and love is the same thing.

Love is or love is not, you cannot force someone to love you, and you cannot force yourself to love someone.

Some people can pretend to love someone, some are very good at it, but love is or love is not.

When I was 17 years, I had everything a 17 years could want. I had different groups of friends, so I had the feeling of belonging. I could buy the clothes I wanted to express my personality, I used to go to the hairdresser at least once a month (back then I used to relax my hair), and I had more money than needed (for a 17 years old).

Do you remember how much we needed at that time? Yes, it was nothing compared to today. Back then, we did not have bills to pay, or responsibilities that wake us up in the middle of the night ha ha ha.

Should I show you what I look like when I was 17 years old. Nope ha ha ha

One day, I went shopping downtown Fort-de-France (Fort-de-France is the capital of my dear island Martinique in case you don’t know).

Downtown Fort-de-France - Martinique

In the afternoon, I came back home with shopping bags, and instead of feeling happy I felt empty. This is the day I realised that money is not enough.

At 17 years old, I told myself that being able to buy what I wanted, having a social status (in my head I was popular lol), having good grades at schools, and having a good social life were not enough. This lesson was a blessing. 

At this point what was missing? Love. I did not feel loved, appreciated, heard, and valued. I had things but not what matters the most.

To have or to be….that reminds me a book on my list that I want to read written by Eric Fromm “To have or to be”, have you read it?

Now, let’s be clear I am not saying that having money is a bad thing. The love of money is evil. You willing to do anything and everything to get money is evil.

The truth is we all need money because we have bills to pay. We need a certain amount of money to feel financially secured. You know when you don’t have to worry about your bills or unexpected events. You have enough for you, and enough to be a blessing for others.

Unfortunately, some people can put money above everything. They are blinded by money, and choose a partner based on the number of zeros on their bank account. Others stay with a wealthy partner (however you define wealthy in your country) just to show off, to escape poverty, or as a sign that they made it in life.

The world we live in does not help….

Indeed, we live in a materialistic world, it’s easy to believe that you need two mansions, ten luxurious cars, and holiday homes everywhere in the world to be happy. We live in a world of illusions. Just fake it with appearance and pretend to be someone you are not…

These beliefs are facilitated by social media. If you follow rich and famous people, while you have an ordinary life, their posts can make you feel miserable. You think you don’t have enough, you are a failure, and you did not make it in life.

Then, it becomes difficult for you to focus on what you have and on how blessed you are. You will always feel that your cup is empty, like you are nothing, and you haven’t accomplished a thing.

Comparing yourself to others on a daily basis can make you feel depressed, and even suicidal.

That was one of the reasons years ago I deleted my Facebook account, and I did not want to have a social media profile on Instagram and TikTok. I said to myself I cannot spend hours looking at other people’s lives, cause I need to build mine.

Also, it’s difficult to appreciate the journey when you keep looking at people who are in their « harvest season ».

Great things come with time, and you cannot rush the process. Yes, there is a process, and there is a season for harvest.

So, I do understand how someone can end up being with a person just to have money. They get married for money, not for love. I can understand, but love cannot be brought. Understanding does not mean that I applaud or I agree with that… just to be clear…

Love is beautiful and blissful when you are with the right person.

No matter, how many things your partner gives you, it’s not enough to make you feel loved, seen, and appreciated.

The bags, cars, houses, and others things can make your friends envious and/or jealous. People will say to you that you are lucky, but your heart will remain empty. The void and the emptiness do not go away just like that.

You cannot fool your own heart.

Truth to be told, love can be found in the smallest things.

For example, when your partner give you a compliment « you are the most beautiful woman » when you just wake up.

If he tells you that from the bottom of his heart, it’s because he sees you as his treasure, rubies, or his diamond. Cause you know how you look like when you just open your eyes ha ha ha ha… let’s be real here… I am not even talking about the morning breath… ha ha ha…

Or when he said to you that « you look like an angel when you are asleep ». Isn’t’ that beautiful? Instead of sleeping, he is looking at you with love and tenderness.

Love can be sharing a special place with the love of your life.

Do you have a place you would like to show to your partner? For example, watching the sunset in a particular location.  

I am thinking now…maybe somewhere in South of France, Bali, or Portugal mmmmmmmh nope… but there is a country that I would like to visit with him. I am not gonna tell you which one… It’s a secret.

Long time ago, I insist on the « long time ago », I was young, and I spent New Year’s Eve with the wrong person. I did not want to spend New Year’s Eve on my own, so I accepted his invite. It was the right place, but I was with the wrong person. I pretended all night that I was having fun, and I was happy to be here.

Then, he dropped me home, and I cried. I said to myself it would have been better to spend that night on my own home. It was more hurtful to be with the wrong person that night.

You want to in be in special events with a special someone, not just anyone.

You can pretend in front of all, but again you cannot fool your own heart.

The pain is there, not matter what you tell yourself.

Let me tell you something when you are with the wrong person, all your body, soul, and mind are suffering and shouting « What are you doing here with him? ». I am telling you. The experience is painful.

That day, I learned my lesson. Also, there is a saying in French « il vaut mieux être seul que mal accompagner ». Let me translate that for you « better alone than in bad company ». To me, life is too short to waste your time with the wrong person.

I will be honest with you, things looked simple when we were 18/24 years old, but after 25 years old we all realised that life is hard. We have responsibilities, and there are things that we cannot escape as adults. No escape!

In my twenties, I had a job that I did not like, and I struggled in the morning to get out of my house to be on time at work. In my mind, I was like “I cannot blame anyone or pretend that I am sick so I can stay in bed all day”. I am an adult and I have bills to pay. That was a painful realisation.

What makes life easier? Being surrounded by the right people.

You partner is the person will spend most of your time with. It’s detrimental for your happiness, your wellbeing, and your successes to be with the right one. Not just someone, but the right one for you. Someone that truly loves you.

Difficulties, obstacles, and challenges will always come. It’s just a matter of time. It’s easier to overcome these with the right person by your side.

Many people did not fulfil their destinies because of their partner. You don’t want to be that person. You don’t want have a life full of regrets. Life choices come and haunt you after 40 years old. In your twenties and thirties, you can think that you have time, and everything will be fine. Later on, the reality will hit you hard.

Continuons…

A sad reality is you can be surrounded by 100 people, be lonely, feel unseen, and feel unheard.

Some people feel invisible to those closest to them.

Indeed, your soul is longing for true and deep connections. Your soul is longing for true love. This love that makes you feel like you are in your own world or your own bubble with him. The two of you can be with 1000 people, and feel that you are only together, just you and him. You don’t see the people around, you only see him. It’s like there is no else but just you two.

He can be in the other side of the room talking to other people, and looking at you like there is no one else in the room but you. The way he looks at you is full of love, affection, and tenderness. With one look you can feel all the love he has for you. With one look you can feel seen and heard. He loves you from the bottom of his heart. There is only one woman in his heart, and it’s you. You could be surrounded by other beautiful women, but he only sees you. It’s true and pure love.

True and pure love do exist, it’s not only in movies. We all need love. We’ve all been created to give and to receive love, and you deserve true and pure love. Yes, you deserve it!

Pretending and performing every day in front of family, friends, and others, while you suffer in silence each second is not having a life. Also, it takes so much energy to pretend…

No having true love while being in a relationship creates a hole in your heart, and this hole becomes bigger and bigger with time. You deserve to be happy with the right person for you.

I want you to know that you can still have that. You can change your life at any time.

Each day, you have the opportunity to make better decisions in your life. Tomorrow can be the beginning of a new chapter.

Please don’t act quickly, and don’t do something stupid. Think carefully about your exit plan. Changing life is not easy, take a step back and think about what you really want in life. How do you see your future? Start planning. What will be your first step?

Transitioning will be hard like facing the truth, but you will feel better with time.

A burden will be lifted on your shoulder when you will be true to yourself. Being true to yourself is freeing.

The truth will set you free!

Give yourself time to rebuild your life on solid and healthy foundations.

 Avec beaucoup d’amour…