Hey you! Yes, you!

Today, I decided to share with you some of my favourites love poems written by Pierre Alex Jeanty in his book HER.

We are all on the self-discovery journey, this is why life is so exciting. We keep evolving, and learning about ourselves. Years ago, I discovered that I really enjoy love poems by reading some of his online.

He most widely known for his international best sellers HER & HER Vol.2. He is an Haitian-American author, publisher, and entrepreneur. His poems speak to my heart, and some of them are perfect for this article “I will want you forever”.

Allez, on commence !

At the beginning of a relationship, everything is beautiful and easy. You think all the time about him. His messages on your phone in the morning make you smile.

At the end of the day, you cannot wait to be with him. You want to breathe the same air that he breathes all the time.

Everything is sweet. It’s like being in a bubble. You don’t see things as you used to. You are transported in this ocean of love, joy, and happiness. You cannot stop smiling. He is here and you are happy. It’s so simple…

There was a song that I used to listen to (15 years ago) when I was living in Martinique. The song is called “si mwen té sav”. It’s in Kréyol. Let me translate that for you, it’s “if only I knew”. Then, there is this beautiful refrain.

Tout beau tout nouveau et tout va bien!
Yon dé twa ti bo tou lé matin
Mé tan ka passé lanmou ka changé
Promès ka efacé, fo lité pou sa tchimbé

Subtil’s - Naya - Si mwen té sav

The first sentence is in French “Tout beau, tout nouveau, et tout va bien”. If you translate literally it will be “all beautiful, all new, and everything is fine”. I will translate it like that “all things look rosy at first”. Then the rest in Kréyol, “two or three kisses every morning, but time goes by and love changes, the promises disappeared, we need to fight to stay together”.

The lyrics are profound, don’t you think!?

What is the first enemy of a relationship? TIME!

Think about it. The first two years (I am generous with the “two years”), everything is new. You get to know each other, and you fall in love. You learn more about him, his work, his town, his family, his friends, his hobbies, his dreams, his achievements, and life goals etc… not necessarily in that order but you get the picture.

Everything is new. The new is always exciting. The new gives you energy. Then, there are all the things that you feel because you are falling in love with him. You go out with him to new places, you try new things, and you meet new people. You are not in the familiar. You let him take your hand and show you his world, and you do the same thing. You take his hand and show him your world. You both have stars in your eyes.

Then, give it time…

With time being with him becomes a routine. With time you have to face challenges, difficulties, and obstacles together.

With time you see his different faces in different situations. With time you can see things that you wish you did not see lol I am telling you… I know I know…

You are not in the bubble anymore. Seeing his name on your phone does not put a smile on your face. Sometimes, you don’t answer his calls pretending you did not hear your phone ringing. Some people do that… yes…

Let me give you an example, this one it’s so obvious. A new job. Do you remember when you got your job?

Now, how do you feel about this job? Tell the truth! You don’t feel anymore the joy of the first month. With time, we see things differently, and we experience things differently. I have to say that it’s not true for some people. Some people do enjoy their job even after years like my friend Steven. He really evolved with his job, and really like what he is doing. But you get the picture.

With time, you have to make the decision each day to love your partner. It’s a choice cause you won’t feel like loving him every day. You have to choose him again and again no matter which season you are in.

“On vit pas dans le monde des bisounours” this is what I like to say to people who think life is easy. We don’t live in the “Care bears” world.

Each one of us has to face difficulties and challenges. As women, we are the daughter of someone, the sister of someone, the cousin of someone, the mother of someone. We are employees, business owners, and change makers. We all have responsibilities.

Your partner have responsibilities as well. Men tend to keep everything for themselves, so it’s hard to know when they are going through difficulties. Sometimes, it’s nothing to do with you. It’s the way most of them were raised. All their childhood, teenage years, and adult life they heard man up, be strong, and don’t cry… etc…

Even if you try to communicate with your partner, if he did not learn how to communicate his feelings and be open, it might be difficult for him to put words on what is feeling inside.

You can ask him many times “Are you ok?”, and he will reply “Yes, everything is fine” even if he is drowning. The pressure is too heavy, but he will keep everything for himself.

When you love your partner it’s painful to watch him keeping everything for himself. You want to help, but he doesn’t want your help. Some feel ashamed to share their deepest feelings. And us, we are waiting for them to open up. Many women like me do not care about seeing a man crying. To me, it’s a strength not a weakness. Sometimes, you have to let it out. It’s healthy… you know…

How do I know all of that about relationships and love? Let’s say that I had many lives…

It can be very difficult to keep the boat afloat because of communication issues, and personal challenges. It’s not easy to walk together and have the same vision. You have to be a team player, and have a strong desire to make it together.

Also, you have to make SACRIFICES. Yes, I said it! SACRIFICE!!!!

I will be honest with you. After this relationship that lasted 8 years, I was like I am done with sacrifices. I will only do compromises. My rule was “in my house we do comprises not sacrifices”. It’s win-win all the time here. No one deserves me doing sacrifices… ha ha ha but my eyes were opened recently, and I realised that for my friends I do make sacrifices. I do make sacrifices for the people that I love the most.

You know when you make sacrifices for the right people, you always gain something. I am not talking about money here. I mean the relationship becomes stronger, you understand each other on a deeper lever, and the other person will make sacrifices for you when the time comes. Sacrifices produce multiplication. Again, you have to be surrounded by the right people.

Don’t do that with shitty people, and come and complain to me. I say what? THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

Doing life with someone else, it’s a partnership. You are holding each other hand and you overcome together. YOU ARE BOTH OVERCOMERS. You have the same vision, and you move together. You have each other’s backs.

You have to fight for those you love, and this is true in a romantic relationship, but also in friendships. I am very protective with all my friendships cause I invested time with all of them. Great friendships are like wine, it improves with age. Great relationships are built with time. Nowadays, people do not invest their time anymore in relationships… They tend to have transactional relationships - what can I get from you? It’s sad…

The relationships that I have with some of my friends are like diamonds and rubies. We’ve seen it all together, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It’s the same thing with the love of your life, you will go through the good, the bad, and the ugly. You cannot jump out of the boat when it gets hard. You have to remain in the boat in the middle of the storm. I will even say in the middle of the hurricane.

Have you been in a storm with strong winds? How powerful they can be?! They push you to a side or another.

When the love of your life finds himself in the middle of a storm, you have to make the decision to stay with him. It won’t be easy, but he needs you by his side. This is the time he needs you more than ever. It’s not the time to jump out of the boat, even if you think about it.

And, of course he should do the same for you…

We are in it together, and I won’t leave you! I am here with you and for you!

Now, let’s finish with this.

The wedding vow: "I, _____, take you, _____, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honour you all the days of my life."

Being married to someone is a commitment till death. Every day you have to choose to love and to want this person.

A lot of people accept better, but not worse. You know when you go through “the worse”, your relationship becomes stronger. It’s like a tree. The roots go deeper.

If I think about my life, after suffering, blessings always come in whatever shapes or forms. Nothing is wasted. The leftovers can be life lessons, wisdom, better communication, stronger bond, or more love. You have more love for each other, your love increases. Isn’t that beautiful?!

There is something about being intimate with someone. I am not talking about sex here, I am talking about knowing the essence of someone. His or her roots, what you don’t see on the surface… I don’t know it’s so beautiful when you see someone naked in front of you (again I am not talking about being physically naked). I am talking about when you see who they truly are.

This is how you can become one spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Blissfulness… Let me stop here…

For richer, for poorer, what I know for sure is money comes and goes. Blessed are the ones who can live with and without, cause in this life you never know what can happen to you. We go through seasons. It’s just life!

To me, once you know how to make money (it’s a skill), and you have a network, you can start again from square one. It’s not a big deal. The unexpected can happen to all of us. It’s hard to start from the bottom, but it’s doable. I have done that two or three times in my life, it was scary, and sometimes humiliating but I managed.

Again, you cannot decide to jump out of the boat when things get tough. Hold his hands tight and start all over again together.

No having money is ugly. Let’s be honest. As a woman, I have to buy body care and hair products. Listen you cannot wash your hair with water only. Lol this bottle of shampoo can be expensive. I need lotion as well in a hot or a cold country. Cannot go out without. I am honest here, please don’t laugh at me…

But, you have to remind yourself that this situation is only temporary. It won’t last. No having money can be just for a season, not a lifetime. So, stay in the boat!

In sickness and in health… This is one is not easy, cause sickness can be very ugly. I mean you can lose control of your body, and the body does disgusting things. Let’s be real here. Don’t pretend… ha ha ha ha… ok let’s be serious now.

When people are sick, it’s when they are the most vulnerable, they can be dependant like children, and they really need you. When you love someone with all your heart, all your mind, and all your strength, sickness won’t stop you. I am not saying that it will be easy.

Sometimes, it can be hard and painful for both of you. You can feel like you are making huge sacrifices and you don’t see the end of it. You can feel lonely because everything is on your shoulders, and the other person cannot help you. It’s not easy. It’s again a choice to be there for the person that you love the most. You have to choose him and want him again and again. Choose to love him in this difficult situation.

The last sentence: I will love and honour you all the days of my life. You have to be intentional every day, and make the choice to love and honour him every day. It’s a choice. It’s so easy to disrespect someone with your words, attitudes, and behaviours. It’s take a lot to rise above, and keep your mouth shut in some situations.

I am telling you, sometimes you want him to have it. “Let me tell you two or three things then I will rise above” lol… but nope you have to keep your mouth shut. Me, I also have to control my face ha ha ha… It’s all about self-control. There is a way to address issues in a relationship. Choose to go high!

So, do you still want him forever?

A la prochaine…

PS: Here is the link if you want to buy his book of poem HER: https://amzn.to/3cnGqwo