If you remember, I told you that my friendship with Steven was a seed. I asked God to give me a relationship as great as this one with women. At least, one woman.

When I made that prayer, nothing happened. I had relationships with women but it was not as good as the one I had with Steven. Also, you must know that a friendship with a man has its own limits. There is a line you cannot cross. It’s unspoken, but if you cross this line, you won’t be able to come back from.

Everything with God starts with a seed. We ask for things in prayers waiting to receive it fully, you know a tree that bears good fruits, but sometimes God answers us with a seed.

It’s hard to recognise that the seed is the answer to your prayers. That’s why you are most likely to dismiss God’s blessings. You won’t recognise the seed form of your blessings. I am writing and thinking at the same time I am guilty of this… yes sometimes you can preach to yourself ha ha ha

Continuons… In 2009, I found a job. I was recommended by a friend. Twice a week, I was helping children with their homework after school. This is where I met Lara. If you’ve been reading many of my writings you know it’s not her real name. I don’t like sharing real names. It’s fun to give people new names. I met her when I was 22 years old. A long time ago. For your reference, I am 34 years old.

At that time, we were just saying hi to each other. We went out a couple of times with other colleagues, and that was it. I remember looking at her thinking that she was a strong, a determined, and an ambitious woman. She knew what she wanted in life, and she was doing what she had to do to make it happen. She was also confident, and speak with authority. I said to myself I really like that about her. I guess she reminded me.

Back then, I had a Facebook account and we kept in touch there. A couple of years later, I was starting my new life in the rainy city of London.

We met a couple of times when I was on holidays in Martinique cause we had a friend in common.

Small island.

In 2014, one day Lara contacted me on Facebook to ask me questions about living in the UK. She was thinking about moving to London to improve her English and gain experience abroad.

From that moment, we started talking more and more.

The funny thing is she moved to the UK when I was going back to Martinique.

In 2015, after a break-up (8 years in a relationship), I decided to go back to the island because I needed time to heal, and I wanted to be surrounded by my family and friends.

Also, I did not want to face winter on my own. Winter is so depressing. I always feel like I am in abusive relationship with winter, I don’t want you but you keep coming back ha ha ha… am I the only one who feels that way?

Anyway, I had to come back to the UK. So the following year I was back, and our friendship really started in the UK.

I am telling you, life is surprising.

Our friendship did not start while we were both living on the island but abroad. This time, I was living outside London and commuting to work in the City.

We spend a lot of time together after work. Most of the time in a restaurant, talking about everything and anything. We used to send each other long voice notes on WhatsApp, and this is how we got to know each other in a deeper level.

It was nice having a friend from my island with me in the UK. Someone who knew me from before, someone who shares the same culture and traditions, and who also speaks French and Creole like me.

You know when I moved to the UK, I had to build a new life. I had to start everything from square one, even friendships. To be honest, it’s easier to become friend with someone who is from the same country cause you already have things in commun. The foundation is already there.

With Lara, we had a good friendship, we spend a lot of time laughing and sharing stories from our travels. We both like travelling, eating good food, meeting new people, learning new languages and live to the fullest. We both love our culture and our dear island Martinique. We both are confident, determined, ambitious, and smart women. We had a vision for our lives, and we were determined to change the trajectory of our families.

All relationships will be tested (you will go through fire and water)

Our relationship was first tested in the middle of a tragedy. I had to move out quickly from the house I was living in, and I ended up sharing her room.

We were sleeping on the same bed. I remember being scared of asking her if I could stay with her a couple of weeks while I was looking for a place to rent, and I was also scared that something might go wrong.

In my mind, I was like everything is going well with her. We have a good friendship and I don’t want to do anything that can be detrimental to our friendship. It was nice to be able to share things with a woman and to have the same life goals.

Also, I must be honest with you, I need “me” time. I need time for myself even under the same roof. I need time to breathe. So, I was scared that she was the type of people who speak all the time. Like we said in Martinique: her mouth does not have Sundays (it’s an expression in Creole).

In the middle of my tragedy, we had such a great time. Don’t get me wrong, I was not in a good place mentally, and I did not want to impose myself in her house. But, we had a great time together. We understood each other on a deeper level, and we respect each other space. No need to talk all the time. I was relieved!

She passed the test successfully. If I can share a room with her for two weeks, and she does not get on my nerves, we can be friends for life. We ended up going to Morocco together a couple of weeks later, and we had such a great time together !

Me ended up in her house because of a tragedy was a blessing in disguise.

Trusting issues

A couple of months later, Lara decided that London was not for her, and she moved back to Martinique.

When she moved back I was on holidays in Martinique. Initially for two weeks but it turned to four months. There is something about being on the island. I always feel refreshed, rejuvenated, and fully myself. When I said “fully myself” it’s because I grew up on the island. I have a routine when I am back there. I like driving in Martinique, I like exploring the island even if I already know the place, and my body feels good. My hair, my skin, and my mind.

When I am there I feel beautiful without wearing any make-up. I feel that all parts of my body breathe, and you know what I like the most, hearing people speaking in Creole around me.

Depending on where you live, you can speak mainly in Creole, mainly in French or a bit of both. I tend to mix French and Creole. I can start a conversation in French and express strong feelings in Creole in the middle of the conversation.

When I speak Creole I feel that it’s the true self, my roots, the deepest part of my being. Also, because I am from the island I do have an island accent when I speak French, and people know that I am from the French Caribbean as soon as I open my mouth.

Back to my friendship with Lara. We found ourselves in Martinique at the same time. We used to go to restaurants, then go somewhere in front of the sea, and continue our long conversations. We could talk for hours. She will bring me home, park her car, and we will stay two or three more hours in front of my mother’s flat talking.

Despite the fact that everything was going well between us, there was this small voice telling me that she will betray me one day, and our friendship won’t last that long. I heard this small voice many times after meeting her. You know I decided to not act on it. I decided to take the risk and see what will happen between us with time.

Love is risky and love makes you vulnerable.

Also, years later, Lara confided in me and she told me that she has doubts about me when I asked her if I could stay in her home for a couple of weeks. A small voice telling her that I will take advantage of her and I will do something against her.

It was interesting you know when we had this conversation years later.

Clearly, none of that happened. Today, our friendship is stronger than ever.

What you must know is that we had both trust issues related to past relationships. At that time, I had one betrayal, and I was suspicious with people. Nevertheless, we both decided to maintain our friendship despite having doubts.

Destiny relationship

As I said in one of previous blog posts, great friendships can be like wine. Wine improves with age.

A true friendship is being there for someone in good and bad times. I will add the “ugly” ones as well.

When you are friend with someone you accept them for who they truly are. They don’t have to do anything just to please you. You don’t try to manipulate them, control them, or make them change to be as you want them to be. You just accept them for who they are.

With time, the relationship becomes intimate because you know this person on a deeper level. You have a strong bond, and we know each other very well. You can tell if you friend feel good or bad just on their voice or just with one look. You respect when they need “me” time. The relationship is effortless. This is what I have with Lara.

You know our relationship became stronger the last three years. She was there for me even if she does not live in the UK.

Between Martinique and the UK, there is a time difference of 4 or 5 hours. I never felt alone because she is on my side, and she always understands me. We speak the same language. Words resonates the same way in our minds and in our hearts. She even understands my silence.

Also, I realised how important it is to have at least one person with whom you can be yourself and share deeper things.

Share things that you don’t usually share with people. The “ugly” things. It lightens your burdens. I don’t have to do life by myself. Someone in the world sees me and understands me. One person knows my story, and does not judge the old versions of myself. It’s so comforting.

She knows me.

The past years, I had to share deeper things with my subscribers on different platforms with “La Femme Victorieuse”. Another project of mine in French. She was there with me, and I could feel her hand on mine.

I cannot remember last time we were together at the same place.

Despite the distance, our friendship is beautiful. I would have never imagined having this type of friendship with a woman.

Everything great comes with time.

To conclude, this relationship exceeded what I could imagine and think. I did not know that you can share this with someone that is not a family member. She meets all the needs that I have and the ones I did not know that I have. That’s why I know it’s divine. God answered my prayer.

Remember, sometimes, you already have the answers to your prayers but it’s a seed form.

I wish all of you to have this kind of friendship. A friendship like great wine.

Cause life is too hard when you do it alone, or when you are surrounded by people who do not know you, the real you.

Life is too hard when you have to pretend that you are someone that you are not, just to be a part of a group.

Life is too hard, when you are alone. No one knows you. No one to share your deepest thoughts with. No one that loves you for you, not what you can do for them.

Life is too hard when you have no one to share all your victories. Instead of having joy, you have emptiness in your heart, cause no one that you truly love is with you while you are winning. You are the winner, but you stand alone.

Life is too hard when you feel invisible, unseen, and unloved. You know your friends can be your family.

Life is too hard when you walk alone, so don’t do life by yourself.

May this article be a seed for you, a reminder that’s possible to have great friendships.

Avec amour….